The term "bad language" has almost become passé these days. If you take a walk through a mall, grocery store, or even an office complex you will hear the usual curse words flying through the air as part of regular conversation. Even on the elementary school playground, the use of "bad language" is prevalent.

The idea of seeking parenting advice seems like a no brainer for many of us and you might wonder why I would write an article on the subject. The fact is that many parents think that asking for help around issues of parenting indicates that on some level they are not worthy of being parents, and further, they believe that "good parents" should be able to figure out parenting problems by themselves.

A situation that I run into a lot when I see people in therapy is the problem of identifying behaviors they see as "bad" in others versus the desire not to "be judgmental." In other words, someone who is a friend or acquaintance is doing something that you may not approve of, but you quickly censor your critical thoughts about this person because you don't believe it is right to criticize others. You end up saying something like "everyone has their own way of doing things," or "it's not my place to judge others."

Since this is opening article for The Successful Parent, it seems appropriate that we begin our discussion by trying to identify some of the most basic ingredients of the parent-child relationship. In other words, if someone were to ask "What are the three most important aspects of parenting?", what would our answer be? To my way of thinking, the basic building blocks of all parent-child relationships are love, limits, and empathy. Okay, that sounds great, but what exactly does it mean? Let's look at some basic definitions and then consider how each element contributes to children's overall development.