Have you ever been in a situation where you just wanted to vent about something and the person listening to you stepped in quickly with advice on how to solve the situation or worse yet, told you in so many words that you were overreacting? Most all of us have been in that situation either as the person listening or the person venting. It can be frustrating from both sides: for the person venting, the feeling is one of being cut off, misunderstood, dismissed, put down or unimportant.

I've had several parents asking this week if they really have to take their toddlers' pacifiers away because it has been recommended that it is time to do so. In both cases, the toddlers had terrible reactions. One child had a sleepless night and was inconsolable (which means the parents had a sleepless night too). The other said her child continued to be upset over days and seemed in such distress, that she finally gave it back.

The term "bad language" has almost become passé these days. If you take a walk through a mall, grocery store, or even an office complex you will hear the usual curse words flying through the air as part of regular conversation. Even on the elementary school playground, the use of "bad language" is prevalent.

The idea of seeking parenting advice seems like a no brainer for many of us and you might wonder why I would write an article on the subject. The fact is that many parents think that asking for help around issues of parenting indicates that on some level they are not worthy of being parents, and further, they believe that "good parents" should be able to figure out parenting problems by themselves.

A situation that I run into a lot when I see people in therapy is the problem of identifying behaviors they see as "bad" in others versus the desire not to "be judgmental." In other words, someone who is a friend or acquaintance is doing something that you may not approve of, but you quickly censor your critical thoughts about this person because you don't believe it is right to criticize others. You end up saying something like "everyone has their own way of doing things," or "it's not my place to judge others."